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Many of today's popular options even mimic human genitals, with some offering vibrating or non-vibrating features. The Pom is designed with a ridge to provide targeted clitoral stimulation, but its wide base also lends itself well to sensations across the vulva. It’s a small-but-mighty waterproof vibrator that features five intensity levels and five pattern modes. Made from medical-grade silicone, the Dame Pom is also impressively quiet for how powerful it is. When trying a butt plug, always use sex toys that are specifically designed for anal play.

Once you’ve decided which direction you’d want to go in, begin with a toy that will allow you to explore and be playful. Playing together is when you go into a sexual experience with the understanding that pleasure is the focus, not orgasms. Pleasure means paying attention to your partner and noticing how they are breathing, if they are smiling, and if they are showing additional signs that they are interested in the activity. Side note– couples therapy can be a great place to learn, or relearn, the physical tells that your partner is interested or finding pleasure in something. The sex toy industry is currently estimated at $29 billion, and it’s forecasted to reach roughly $52 billion come 2026. Sex toys are everywhere, and there are only going to be more of them.

It’s large, yes, but lightweight compared to other body massagers on the market today. Other clitoral stimulators Melissa recommends include the Lelo Sona Sonic and Clitoral Suction Toy to avoid penetration but still experience pleasure. "If penetration has become painful, these are a great way to slowly and gently reintroduce penetration into your sex life at your own pace," Melissa says of this three-piece dilator set. Redefining pleasure in midlife can require a little homework, Melissa says, adding she often tasks her clients with a short quiz to help them explore what they desire now. "I have worked with women who are in their late 50s who are having the best sex of their lives because we worked on their mindset first and foremost – we know the mind affects the body so we start there," Melissa says.

But I'd been testing out various sexual wellness toys for more than six years to no avail. Figuring out which is the best vibrator really comes down to which areas of the body you like to have stimulated. There are external styles that stimulate the clitoris and internal styles which massage the vagina and g-spot. If you want external and internal stimulation at the same time, there is also the rabbit vibrator. This has a vibrating vaginal shaft and external ears which vibrate against the clitoris so you can get the best of both worlds. You can get a big dildo, a mini dildo, a metal or glass dildo, a textured dildo, or even a curved dildo to directly target the g-spot.

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